Major League Baseball, a joke of sport if there ever was one, decided Mark McGwire better finally ‘fess up to his use of performance enhancing drugs during his storied baseball playing homerun hitting phase of his career. Apparently he wanted to be a hitting coach and the whole roid issue was going to be a distraction. So he confessed.
Sobbing and sniffling, Mark McGwire finally answered the steroid question. Ending more than a decade of denials and evasion, McGwire admitted Monday what many had suspected for so long – that steroids and human growth hormone helped make him a home run king.
Touching. So is this part.
“The toughest thing is my wife, my parents, close friends have had no idea that I hid it from them all this time,” he told The Associated Press in an emotional, 20-minute interview.
Oh, yeaaaah. It was a complete and total cypher. Nobody had any idea you were on the juice, dude. Especially your family. Not a freaking clue. Jesus Christ, the way people can delude themselves.
“I wish I had never touched steroids,” McGwire said. “It was foolish and it was a mistake.”
What a craven bald faced liar! C’mon dude, sack up and just admit it! Oh, that’s right, sacking up might be a bit of a problem for you. Well anyway, have some cojones! Oh. right. Look, just stand up there and admit it! You took performance enhancing drugs on purpose. To enhance your freaking performance. And when they did, you kept on taking them! And you wouldn’t have changed one single thing in your desire to be the best. Good God why can’t these assklowns just be honest?
Sun Dappled Forest 
B-b-b-b-but it was not for performance enhancement! It was just so he could recover faster! Don’t any of you idiots get it??!!!!
His HRs are, like, totally legit, cos the needle can’t hit the baseball for you…..DUH!!
And even though his HRs are, like, totally legit, he still called the Maris family to apologize, cos, well, he’s just a stand up kinda guy.
BTW, —“Oh, that’s right, sacking up might be a bit of a problem for you.”— that’s just comedy gold, man!
These doper confessions are what is comedy gold, dude. This shit writes itself. It is so fucking pathetic the way they have no affiliation whatsoever for truth and reality. Oooh, it was just soooo hard to tell his kid. Fuck, like that kid’s friends ever since middle school hadn’t been giving him the business about his puffed up cartoonish dad? puhfuckingleeez.
Ping, dude!
http://yacketyyakia.blogspot.com/2010/01/roid-confession-id-like-to-hear.html